When someone steals from me, do I feel angry?Yes, I do.
What are you angry about?
I feel violated.
What sort of violation?
A crossing of borders, limits that we set for other people and often not ourselves.
Do you expect that everyone will always know everyone else's borders and not step beyond them?
Accidents happen, but we can try. Perhaps to forgive is to forget and by some perspectives that can be dangerous. It's a survival instict that somehow has gotten itself mixed up in the values of things and is losing the value of life.
Do you think that you should be angry?
I feel that it is an emotion that we all have a right to because it is such a part of us and what makes us human and may have saved our lives in the right situation. It's what we do in response to our own anger which affects others.
Do you want to speak to the offender?
Maybe.
What might you say?
Can I help you? No...no... perhaps, "Do you want fries with that?" Maybe I would just stare at them.
What is your goal?
It's not to have the stereo back. It's not to release my anger. It's not to prevent this from happening. It's not to punish. It's not to do what is right. It's not to save the world. It's not to end crime. What is my goal? It's to communicate and be.
stop trying
2 comments:
"To communicate and be"
I like your answer. Simple on the surface, but then it seems essential. Communication is others-centered, "being" is self-centered. It is about striking the balance between other people and self. It is about being at peace. It is about giving that person another stereo (or fries, or a tunic). It is an amazing challenge. The instinct is to fight and be dramatic in some way, but can we get beyond possessions? Great examination.
Thanks, Jason. It was an interesting situation because I was really observing all of our reactions to this situation and was able to maintain so much clarity. As one of my friends who was with me was getting really upset about the "nerve" of people to violate someone else's posessions, I recognized the potential for anger within myself, but I was able to really make a choice not to go that way. I felt really free at that moment to be able to just let that moment be and to look at the reality of it. Someone pryed (sp?) open my car window (but did not break it and I can still roll it up for the winter) and stole my car stereo (nearly seven years old and having a lot of problems and malfunctions, they also did not cut the cord, just nicely unplugged it) and left ALL of my cds in the car.
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